Time to Rise – Ask the Author Series
She is the founder of Freedom Based Mindset, a technique that has helped hundreds of people to easily and effortlessly release old patterns and limiting beliefs. She helps people understand how to use their emotions to create flow in life and work.
In Time to Rise, Evakarin takes us back to the challenges and obstacles that have taught her the most precious of life lessons.
Dr. Andrea – So in your chapter, you begin by taking us back to the economic crisis of the eighties. While describing how your family’s business became bankrupt – you actually say, “thank God for that”! Can you explain why?
Evakarin – Well, I didn’t see it like that at the time, of course! It was really uncomfortable and I felt that I should do something more than just taking care of my daughter.
We were watching the Shirley MacLaine movie, “Out on a Limb”. My then-husband, who was Muslim, had an unexpected reaction to it. When Shirley begins shouting, “I am God” – I expected this to upset him. At this time, he was angry a lot, and I was taking a lot of that on my shoulders, trying to keep things calm. But actually, he said it reminded him of something in the Quran.
It was the last thing I expected him to say, and it really caught my attention. That was the start for me to explore the spiritual side of life. Being alone at home with the kids, I suddenly had the time to explore this.
Back then I felt totally alone in my mission, but one book at a time, I started to understand all the different dimensions within us. At some point I suddenly felt as if I was bigger on the inside, as I was know thinking about the world in this way.
Dr. Andrea – One of the things I’ve heard you talk about before is how we all get so caught up in needing to be, do or have more. I think this ties in too with what you’ve told me about your ex-husband having anger issues, and you feeling the need to take on the responsibility for that. So can you tell us about that.
Evakarin – The belief that I was carrying about that, at the time, was this: if I was nice to people; kind, supportive, caring, then I would get the same thing back. But it wasn’t working this way. So when I first started to learn about the Law of Attraction I struggled to understand, as my experiences so far were that I was nice to people, just like with my husband, but then I attracted an angry person to me.
The key, as I came to realize, was being nice to myself. Once I started to stand up for myself, and started saying no to things, it all really shifted. In the beginning it made our home life worse. I was the bad guy for saying no – actually, it was chaos!
It took me a long time to get out of that relationship. But after two years, I went for a healing session, and I could feel at that point like his equal. After that day, he never raised his voice to me again.
Dr. Andrea – So this was a shift inside of you? You didn’t need to do anything externally with him, such as negotiating?
Evakarin – No, and I don’t believe that would have worked. I learned that it’s not about gaining control on the outside, but rather about what you change on the inside which can affect any situation.
What happens in your life is a reflection of what’s going on inside of you. It’s all just information – so you can take that information and transcend it.
Dr. Andrea – I know that you chose to leave your relationship while you were pregnant with your second child – so that really created a whole new challenge! Tell us about that.
Evakarin – I had been, on the inside, trying to work on leaving him. But I was finding it really tough to express on the inside. The moment came when he said something unkind to me, and I said okay, it is time to leave.
So I took my child and we left. We stayed with a friend for a couple of weeks until we got our apartment. Then after a year, he started saying he wanted us to come back to him.
He lived in the south of Sweden, so I would get a train down to visit him with the kids. On one visit he wouldn’t let me leave until I promised to move back in with him. In the moment I felt that I had no choice, so I had to say yes.
So during this time I started to have strange dreams about a former boyfriend. I got back in touch with him and we began talking. And about one week before I was about to move back in with my husband, I made the decision not to go. I called to tell him that I was in fact moving in with another man.
He came and collected the children from me, which I couldn’t stop unfortunately. And this took a lot of faith in God and my spirituality to deal with. I began walking a lot and thinking about this, trying to get peace with the situation. I just focussed on what was best for the children; whether it was for them to be with him or with me.
About three months later he allowed me to take the children back.
Dr. Andrea – I love what you say about trying to come to terms and find peace within yourself. When we fight and suppress other people, nobody wins. So finding peace within ourselves is so powerful.
So I know that you talk about unwanted feelings, such a being really low or even depressed, can be life mirroring back to you what’s going on inside. Can you tell me more about that?
Evakarin – The trap we fall into so easily is that we judge each situation. If we can take the judgement out and view things as they really are, you see the information from the universe – or your subconscious – depending on what you like to call it. This information shows us what is going on inside of us. And then we can ask ourselves what we want instead of the unwanted parts of our current situation. Then you can do something proactive and take control, instead of being trapped.
When a bad feeling is strong it really takes over, and you forget all the tools and resources you have. We dwell on the past and end up repeating it. But if you can take a step back, and hear the message – it’s there to help you to choose – where do you want to go next?
Dr. Andrea – So you have a 5-step process that you teach people that shifts things internally for them. Tell us about that.
Evakarin – So the first part is to get the judgment out of the way, so we can really see what is happening. This is done by noticing at first. When we are so busy in our heads all the time, we often don’t notice important things.
The body is the only part of us that really stay in the here and now, so tuning into your body is a great way to get answers. I sometimes put my hand on my body and I ask, “what is it that’s uncomfortable right now?”
Then listen, don’t think! Generally, if you feel something in your heart, it’s about a lack of love or belonging. If you feel something in your stomach, it’s often about worry.
The second part is to ask ‘what’s going wrong?’ And this has nothing to do with logic, so don’t disappear up into your head here! But again, just listen.
Thirdly, take that thing that was wrong. For example, perhaps you don’t feel good enough. Then reframe into the positive – what you do want is to feel that you are good enough.
Then consciously chose it – decide to feel good enough.
Step number four is being grateful for the feeling that gave you the message. This is really the key. Being able to feel grateful for a previously unwanted feeling – that’s magic!
Step number five is about inspiration – what do you feel inspired to do? This is the time to listen to your intuition and trust what it is telling you.
Even if you mind tells you something else, this is the time to really listen to your intuition and trust it.
Dr. Andrea – That a big step for a lot of people! This was the case for so many authors in Time to Rise, that shift in thinking that led to empowerment.
I teach something similar in my own Attunement Process, and I’m often asked by people how to trust their intuition. When they have suppressed and mistrusted themselves for so long, it can feel really hard to trust ourselves.
So what advice do you have for us as we are learning to listen to our intuition?
Evakarin – I used to feel that way too. But I came to the realization that when I feel calm and joyful, that’s when my intuition is speaking. And it is speaking, not screaming. It’s just waiting for you to hear it. So when you are stressed then don’t trust the voice, because that’s fear, not intuition. If it’s truly intuition, it’s calm and it feels like knowing.
If you would like to learn more about Evakarin, visit her website here: awakecommunication.com Her 5 step process is downloadable from there so you can print it and keep it in your pocket.
To get your copy of Time to Rise with our special free gifts, head here to order your copy and be inspired: http://www.timetorise.me/
If you’d like help writing, publishing, or promoting your book, or if you’d like to co-author a collaborative book, visit us online or call for a free consultation. Call +1 (707) 776-6310 or send an email to andrea@MakeYourMarkGlobal.com