Interview with Ofkje Teekens
Manifesting Love is a collection of real life love stories of people from various backgrounds and cultures who have dug deep within themselves to find self-love, heal from past trauma, and define what they really want in a romantic relationship. Some have created elaborate rituals and ceremonies to ask the Universe to unite them with their ideal partner. Included are instructions for creating your own manifesting ritual.
Co-Author Ofkje Teekens has a very rare story that she shared in the book. It’s so common for us to hear stories of people craving and chasing after love – sometimes so intensely that they scare love away – but Ofkje was the opposite. She didn’t feel open to love and at first really tried to run away from the man who is now her soul mate.
Ofkje is a Jungian Psychologist, game creator, and the author of many books – so she tells a great story! We got together online for our conversation, which you can watch in its entirety on YouTube. You can also read an excerpt below to give you a taste of what we discussed, and what’s in the book.
Grab your own copy of Manifesting Love here.
Dr. Andrea – You know what’s very interesting? Most of the author’s in this book are talking about how they manifested or called forth the love they wanted. And how they did so with a ritual or some other special way. But your story is very, very different!
Your story includes all the ways that you tried to get away from the love of your life. Right?
Ofkje – Yes, I was protecting myself.
Dr. Andrea – I think that’s important. And the reason why I really wanted to include this story in the book, is because some of us are not aware of our shadow side or the reasons why we are actually pushing away love.
So tell us more about your story. While you were at University you were working in a book store to help pay for your studies. And you were busy. You had lots of boys that were into you. Then there was your school work.
Ofkje – I had a lot of boyfriends. And they were all called Rob or Robert! Then there was Kees, and I thought “here’s a different one!”
I did think maybe he was the one. I was interested to find the right one, but I didn’t recognise the love. He seemed ‘normal’ but I wasn’t very impressed. He seemed like just another client of mine in the bookstore, which is where we met.
Dr. Andrea – So when he came in to your bookstore, you weren’t instantly taken with the thought that he could be the love of your life?
Ofkje – No he was just a customer. He I giving literature courses at another University, and I thought maybe I’d met him because he would be another client for my literature courses.
So I asked him to join the group, and he kept attending and really fell in love with me. But I just saw him as another client.
Dr. Andrea – So why do you think that you didn’t see him in the same way as you saw the other boys that were chasing you?
Ofkje – I was not ready myself, and maybe I didn’t love myself either. I though that love was not for me, and the other times those were the wrong guys anyway. I just wasn’t open.
And also I was focussed on finishing my studies, which is what my mum encouraged me to do.
Dr. Andrea – Many of the stories in this book focus on the theme of self love. We know that if we don’t have self love then it makes it very hard to accept someone that will love us.
Where do you think that lack of self love came from for you at that point?
Ofkje – I think because I was from a big family, and I really had to show off to be seen. It was hard enough for me to get a job, earn my money and be responsible for myself. So I didn’t understand myself so well at that time. I didn’t make time for pleasure, I was just not on the right road yet.
Dr. Andrea – But what I love is that Kees, who is your husband of 30+ years now and who I’ve met, just didn’t give up. He kept stopping by and calling you. And eventually you agreed to talk to him, just to get him to stop.
Ofkje – Yes, and that was a very interesting call. I said to my colleague I was going to call him back just for one minute, just to tell him I didn’t want to have a drink with him. So I called and he asked me question after question. This went on for 2 or 3 hours, and then I had to go to the restroom, so I said I’d call him back – and then we talked for half the night!
When I was in the restroom, I looked in the mirror and I asked myself; “Ofkje, what’s going on with you?”
This conversation was so special and I felt then he was a soul mate for me.
Dr. Andrea – So how do you define the term soul mate?
Ofkje – It felt like fate, how I’d met him. This was no coincidence. Normally, Kees is not such as persistent person. But this time, with me we was so persistent. He had told his mum that I was really special, and she had told him to just go for it if you think she’s the girl.
He would bring me flowers, and I was flattered but it took a while for me – I just kept thinking, “what’s going on?”
Dr. Andrea – Right, it took a while. But overtime with his persistence, and all of these conversations, it started to wear down your resistance.
Ofkje – Yes, and I needed that. That’s why at the end it was such a beautiful experience. But it took a while. Coming from a big family, all that attention was something new. But bit by bit it opened my heart to accept the love, the receive it, and to love myself more.
Ofkje’s story is a beautiful one, and she goes into much more detail in the book as to all the blocks she put up, and all the ways she said no to love before she could say yes.
As a Jungian Psychologist and coach, Ofkje’s work involves helping people understand their own shadow side, and so much more of that good stuff that helps us understand who we truly are and what we really want. Watch the rest of our interview here on YouTube to listen to Ofkje share some tips on getting to know your shadow side. This can really help you in your own Manifesting Love mission.